January Updates

Surprised to see me, aren't you? I know, I know, it's been forever since I've posted. I feel terrible about that, but as is the case for most people, life keeps getting in the way. I can't even begin to talk about everything that's happened since I stopped posting regularly, and I simply can't post all the pictures I've taken since the summer. I'll share a few January pictures, and hope that I'll get back into a more regular posting routine.

Laura enjoying our second snow of the winter...a bit out of the ordinary for our part of NC!

Moxie in the snow...crazy how much she loves it

As for me, I have red hair again.

Laura was recognized by the county school board as a "Shining Star" for having the kids that came to her birthday party bring books instead of presents, and then donating the books to her Kindergarten class. She was called up to the front of the meeting to receive her award...she was a little bit shy but did a great job!Laura and I after she got her award...I think she was done with smiling for pictures by this pointThe shirt I made for Laura for her 100th day of school

The back of the shirt

That's all for now...wish me luck as I attempt to wrestle my life into order and get back to blogging and running, two of my favorite things that have fallen by the wayside the last few months.  Oh, and yes, my background and blog name are totally different now....not sure if either of the changes will be permanent, but we'll see.  The background got lost by mistake (I accidentally deleted it and can't figure out how to get it back) and the old blog name needed revamping, and 3 Square was the best my non-creative brain could come up with.  It kind of applies, yet makes no sense at the same time, which is why I like it so much.  For now.

Learn, Teach, and Heal

The marketing guru at my job had a great idea a few months ago...to make a video that was fun, silly, and explains what exactly it is that we do at Southern Regional AHEC (since trying to explain it is kind of tricky). A lot of hard work from a lot of very creative people went into this video, from changing the words of "YMCA", to writing a script, arranging the filming, editing, the list goes on and on! I think the end result is a professional-looking, funny video. But I'll let my readers be the judge. Here it is, in all it's glory. I'm curious how many times you think you see me....I'm in it a lot more than I expected. I'm pretty sure I'll win an Oscar for my main part.

Job #14

So last you heard I was working part-time at a bank, right? Well, try to keep up, because that's out already. I loved working there, but really needed a full-time job, and when my friend Angela recommended I check out an open position at a local health education center, I jumped on it. Since I seem to have the best luck when it comes to finding jobs, I was quickly called in for an interview and got the job!

I started today, and won't go into too much detail since there's problems with confidentiality and the fact that I don't really even understand what I'm doing (yet). The gist of it is that there are several grant-funded health programs being run by this non-profit organization, and I am the assistant to the program heads. I'll work on two very different grant programs, and possibly a third one in the near future. It may sound glamorous, but in actuality it's a very entry-level job, full of making copies and other such enthralling things. The pay is a mere pittance, but I'm excited to think that after 14 years of working, and 13 other different jobs, I may have finally embarked on an actual career.

The Fly, Redux

Pity the poor fly that I killed today, the one that signals the end of winter and the return of my eternal torment. I killed him with such vengeance that his corpse has not been located. A splatter on my door indicates he is dead, but I fear in my desire to send him from this world to the next, I was overly enthusiastic.

A Quilt For Jared

Have I talked about Jared before here? I'm sure I have. He's a great guy; funny, smart, a true friend, and I have so many great memories of him from high school and beyond. He's been there for me in all of the big moments of my life, and the not-so-good and trivial moments too. Laura absolutely adores him. I always think about him when I listen to "The Longest Time" or do a 4 lane sweep while driving. One of my favorite things to do when I visit California is to meet him at Vincenzo's for some pizza.

He's one of my very best friends, and in honor of his 30th birthday (which I'm embarrassed to report was back in March), I made him a quilt. He finally picked it up from the post office today, so now I can post pictures and share it with everyone! As shocking as it may be, I'm fairly certain this is the very first quilt of this size that I've ever completed. I've done a few smaller ones, and I've completed a few quilt tops, but this one has actual quilting and binding and everything. I was inspired by this quilt for the pattern, and it was definitely a challenge trying to pick "manly" fabrics. I fear I may have allowed some of my girly preferences show through, so hopefully he won't be too embarrassed to use it.

For those who are interested, I'll mention that I machine sewed the binding, with help from this tutorial and it turned out wonderfully! It was very easy and so much quicker. I don't know if I'll ever hand-stitch a binding again. Sorry, any future quilt recipients. You're going to be subjected to my laziness.

Note: It's hard to take pictures of a quilt when you have no one to hold it for youTurns out laying it down is much easierI didn't do the quilting, but it turned out nicelyThe label I made-I'm pretty proud of itLabel sewn onto the quiltAll folded up and ready to go to CA!

She Works Hard For The Money

Finally, a legitimate excuse for being so tired: I've gone back to work. Does this mean I need to update the "about me" on my blog to a total of 13 jobs? And does this also mean I can no longer count goofing off as my main pastime? Sadly, I suppose so.

I was lucky enough to get a part-time job at a bank well-known here on the east coast (for now I've decided not to name them, in case they are feeling shy and don't want to be discussed here). I know the economy still really stinks, so it was a pleasant surprise to be hired rather quickly once I finally got up the nerve to start looking for work again. Laura will be starting Kindergarten in July, and the Army Man is frequently busy with all things Army-related, namely being deployed and being gone all the time when he isn't deployed. Moxie doesn't seem to have any interest in me beyond food, the occasional run, and door-opening abilities. My Etsy shop is slowing down (my own doing) and I found myself actually being bored during the day (horrors!) So essentially, the time had come.

My first two weeks are full of training goodness, and I have to work full time both of those weeks. That is a big downside, because I have to tell you: I'm two days in, and I'm exhausted. Getting up early is not my thing, and today, to make things even worse, I ran after work. So yes, I really am tired. For real. The only thing making me stay up past 9pm tonight is the fact that LOST is on. And even LOST, beckoning to me with it's confusing plot, might not be enough to tempt me tonight. (Don't worry LOST, I won't actually go to bed early. I'm just being dramatic to get sympathy for how tired I am!)

I don't have too much to report now, other than to say my co-workers are all very nice and helpful, and the work seems like it will be interesting and challenging. I thought for sure they eased new people in nice and slow, but nope! Next week I have to start helping people. Real people, with real money. So in about 4 more days, I have to learn how to work an entirely new computer system, all of the rules and regulations regarding money and banking, how to quickly and accurately count money, how to work a drive-thru with three lanes and those tube thingees that left the west coast about 20 years ago, and how to deal with customers irate over their money (so far there has been one daily). Easy, right? Come back next week to find out if I'm still employed!

PS. Did you like the pun in my title? I am SO proud of myself for coming up with that!

Bubble Dress

The bubble dress is completed! As I said in my first post about the dress, I have a really hard time using patterns, and this time was no exception. The directions are well-written and the pictures are great, but that still wasn't enough to help poor clueless me. I was so stuck at the end on how to sew the bodice and skirt together in a manner that looked halfway decent, that I ended up having to trek up to our city's quilt store to get some advice. I happened to arrive right when a clothing construction class was finishing, and the instructor took a few minutes to talk with me. That's how nice they are there; she gave me one-on-one attention and some invaluable advice (for free) and seemed happy to do it!

The funny part was that the moment the instructor and I began looking at the pattern together and discussing it, the light bulb went off and I knew exactly what I was supposed to do. The trip wasn't wasted though-I got some great fabric, and an ego boost from everyone who admired the dress. Even better, the instructor told me she has used Oliver + S patterns in the past, and while they make some adorable clothes, the patterns are sometimes lacking in really detailing all the steps to take. So that made me feel better too.

The dress is a lot shorter on Laura than I expected (it is a size 5) so if I make it again, which hopefully I will, I'm going to try to make it longer. It doesn't "bubble" as much as Laura would like, but most people who have made the dress say the same thing. I might try a little bit less elastic next time to make it poof a bit more. As usual, my pictures stink and really don't do justice to the cute fabric (the blue is a tad darker in real life). I think it looks really cute on Laura!

Laura being forced to try it onStarting to enjoy herself more once I allowed her to curtsyThe buttons which also look cuter in real life

Updates

There's not much new here at our house. Our snow melted almost as quickly as it came, but sadly it didn't take the cold weather with it. Laura and I are desperate for some warmer weather! I'm already planning what clothes I want to make Laura for spring, and I've purchased a few patterns. Unfortunately for me, I'm such a visual person that I have a VERY hard time with patterns-no matter how many diagrams there are, it's still not enough. I bought this pattern from oliver + s (I'll make it without the scalloped sides) and I hope it will be just as cute as the pictures, despite my ineptitude with patterns. Stay tuned to see the finished product soon--I hope! I've also been trying to learn how to use my sewing machine to quilt, with terrible results. It would be so much faster and cheaper if I could figure out how to do it and quilt my own quilts, but I'm quickly accepting that it's just not meant to be.

But enough crafty talk, how about some pictures of Laura? I know that's the main draw here! I have a few from Valentine's Day so you can see just how much she enjoyed the holiday.

Heart shaped toast for breakfast (Mommy's idea)With her new dog that Daddy sent (with a little help from Mommy). She named it Cassie.Heart shaped sandwich for lunch (Laura's idea) We also had to use her heart shaped plate.

The Tiguan At Age 1

About a week ago I realized that I’ve had my Tiguan for a year now. My higher math skills helped me determine that I’ve put about 17,000 miles on it in that year. I don’t know if that’s a lot or not compared to what other people drive, but I do know how I arrived at that amount:

1 trip to Pennsylvania
1 trip to Disney World
1 drive in the worst rain of my life (Florida, on the way to Disney)
19 million errands (give or take a few thousand)
1 worst parking lot traffic jam ever (after fireworks on the 4th of July)
4 times riding with out of state visitors
1 middle of the night ER trip
6 convoys
2 times being barfed in (both by Moxie)
78 billion food crumbs spilled
1 worst drive ever (dropping off the Army Man for his deployment)
2 trips to Charleston
4 (if that) car washes
15 or so trips to Raleigh for shopping, doctor visits, and wishing I lived there
0 flat tires
0 break downs
0 problems

One year in, and still the best car I've ever had.

Friday Night Sewing

I've been feeling very crafty lately, and just wanted to share two things that I worked on tonight. The first is a baby quilt that I cut out a while back, and finally got all sewn together tonight. I think it looks so much better in person, because photographing quilts at night in a badly lit room just doesn't work out so well. It's made with some of my favorite Amy Butler fabrics, and I hope to get it quilted and listed in my shop soon. Unfortunately for me, I don't know anyone about to have a baby girl, so no one I know can benefit from it. The moral here is that my friends and/or relatives need to get cracking and provide me with a baby girl to sew for. The next thing I made tonight is a little Valentine's themed bag for Laura. I bought her a cute little stuffed dog for Valentine's Day, which had the added appeal of coming in a cute little gift bag. Sadly for me, the cashier at Target was so clueless and kept ringing up the dog and the gift bag separately, and would not be convinced otherwise that there was no way in the world the gift bag cost $5.99 by itself. She was very perplexed as to why the dog cost less ($4.99) but just did not get it that the set was $5.99 or the dog by itself was $4.99. The worker at the customer service desk was equally as confused, and I'm sure they both had a good laugh about the crazy lady ranting about the gift bag. They both were stunned by the high price, and didn't blame me at all for opting not to purchase the gift bag.

So the point of the story is that I came home from Target with probably a year chopped off my life due to aggravation, and with a stuffed dog that was no longer quite as Valentine-y without the festive bag. Not to be deterred, I whipped up a little drawstring bag similar to some I had made as Christmas gifts for the moms and sisters in my life. This version is littler but just as cute, and I know Laura will love it, since she loves anything that is even remotely like a purse, bag, or other carrying item. I have another quilt that's in progress, but it's not ready for it's close up yet. Hopefully I'll be back to share it in a few weeks.

The Caulking Wizard

It's not every day that I can be convinced to buy something "As Seen On TV". But for quite a while I've wanted this nifty little caulking kit I once saw advertised. I'm sure you know the one-it comes with a little blue thingee (the technical term) that allows you to flawlessly finish any edge. They make it look so easy! I asked the Army Man to buy it for me for our 5th wedding anniversary back in 2008, and he never did, so when I saw it today at Walgreen's, I snatched it right up!

I knew exactly what I wanted to use it on, too. The caulk that connects our kitchen counter to our back splash has looked pathetic since we bought the house. It's only gotten worse and worse, and just a few days ago I decided I just couldn't take it anymore. So how fortuitous to see my little kit! It was like a sign that it was time to fix the caulk. I felt a little embarrassed bringing it up to the register, and of course the cashier had to remark skeptically, "I wonder if this actually works".

I started right when I got home from the store, and immediately hit a snag. Trying to remove the existing caulk was like chipping stone. It took forever and made a huge mess. And for whatever reason, chunks of caulk laying around really gross me out. I was so grossed out, in fact, that I dragged our giant shop vac all the way inside to clean up the debris rather than have to touch it myself. Applying the caulk was a disaster too. I practically giving myself carpal tunnel syndrome in the process. Probably not a good idea to use caulk that has been sitting in our freezing garage on the coldest weekend all season! It was so hard to squeeze that stuff out and I now have sore wrists and blisters on both thumbs.

After all that work, the caulking wizard thingee wasn't that impressive. I think I'll lay part of the blame on the weird angle of our kitchen counter-none of the edges on the thingee matched up, so either I would scrape off too much caulk, or too little. The edge I eventually settled on made it look really nice, but also smeared a lot of caulk on the back splash. Once it was all on, I spent close to a half hour and a ton of paper towels trying to make it look good, and I'm not totally sure if I succeeded. I guess I really don't care right now. It looks nice enough, and I sure feel great having accomplished a minor household fix all by myself!

Not Forgotten

I think one of the biggest fears about death is being forgotten. That all your hard work in life will vanish the moment you’re gone. I just wanted to say today that Grandpap; you’re not forgotten. I didn’t know you all that well, and didn’t see you that often, but I’ve thought about you a lot over the last year. I’ve thought about how interesting life is, how many different amazing things and completely mundane things can happen to a person, and how they all shape who you are. And then you go on to affect the people around you-your spouse, your children, your friends, even strangers.

I don’t know too much about what you were like as a father, but I know what my own father is like, and what a big part of my life he is. He molded me as a child and contributed to what I'm like as a parent, and I know he got a lot of that from you. It’s amazing and wonderful to me that a grandfather who lived across the country from me my entire life had a part in molding my own child. Not to mention that she has your chin.

You are definitely not forgotten.

Sewing News

Fair warning: this is another craft-related post, so if that's not your bag (baby), turn away now. I wanted to report that almost exactly 24 hours later, the entire quilt top of the Midwest Modern quilt is sewn together and ready to be quilted. Probably not by me though, since I'm not quite that experienced yet.

And the reason for all of the craftiness as of late? Behold:Yes, that's a new sewing machine, and the sewing enthusiasts out there probably won't bat an eye when I say that it cost $700. The rest of you however, are rolling your eyes or gasping in horror (possibly both at once). I'll defend myself by saying that I had birthday and Christmas money, it's a business expense, and I could have spent a lot more. A LOT MORE. There are some crazy expensive sewing machines out there. I also want to point out that my Kenmore that I used to use cost about $150 and I was on my third one.

My $700 bought me 534 stitches which works out to only $1.31 per stitch. Quite a bargain if you ask me. Maybe not such a bargain though since I'll probably only ever use about 3 of those stitches. Still, I can't get over the fact that there is a little computer that helps select your stitch, that it sews some of the nicest, neatest little stitches I have ever seen, and how quiet it is compared to my old one. I've gotten so much sewing done in the last few days. I finally finished up the backing to this quilt, which I started in January 2005, if I remember correctly. It's been shipped off to be quilted. The Midwest Modern quilt was started in December 2008 and is now done and ready to be quilted. See below for the picture which you'll think is the same picture from yesterday, but isn't.So I'm not sure if I have my new machine to thank for all of my current motivation and project finishing, but I suppose I'll give it some of the credit. Next up: about 50 other half done projects and many, many new ones.

Midwest Modern, The Quilt

Remember the fabric I got for my birthday in 2008? Well it's mostly turned into a quilt! Can you believe it that in just a little over a year I actually got most of it done? Me neither! It turns out that when you actually sit down and sew for more than 5 minutes at a time, you can get some real work done. A good chunk of the work was actually done in the last week, so I'm hoping if I keep up this pace I may get several old projects finished this year, and maybe even a few new ones!

I don't know if you can tell in this picture, but it's not completely sewn together yet-it's all in big sections ready to be finished tomorrow when it's not midnight and I'm not so tired. But most of the work is done and I'm so happy, because this was the weirdest quilt I've ever worked on. I will never, ever use this pattern again! There wasn't really one piece that was similar to any of the others, which made cutting the fabric nearly impossible, and keeping track of everything was a disaster. Most of it was strewn all over my couch for the last few months, so being able to sit on the couch again is an accomplishment in itself.I really have no idea what I'll do with this quilt once it's done. When I started it, I envisioned it as a more grown up quilt for Laura's bed. Now I'm not so sure. It definitely doesn't say "Laura" to me. Any suggestions?

How To Make A Stocking In 43 Minutes

In the Army Man's family, the stocking is one of the most important parts of Christmas morning. It's the first thing opened (such a foreign concept to this girl who always opened hers last!) and it is always stuffed full of goodies. Since the Army Man won't be with us for Christmas this year, I realized that his stocking would have to be shipped to him. But that's a risky endeavor, and I just couldn't stomach the thought of mailing his precious childhood stocking halfway around the world. I mean look at it:
That thing is simply irreplaceable. The Army Man loves his stocking and I would never forgive myself if something happened to it. So one day, less than an hour before picking Laura up from school, I decided to make him one. Yes, I know I could have just bought one at Target for $5. I even saw those stockings with my own eyes when I went there to buy gifts to put in the stocking I made. But I had this ugly Christmas fabric laying around and no other use for it. Plus, like women who cook for people as a sign of their love, I craft for people. So making a stocking for the Army Man is the Claire equivalent of grilling a delicious steak and mailing it to him. Which really wouldn't be a good idea. Hence, the stocking!

Making this stocking was quick and easy. The only thing that slowed me down was me taking pictures of my progress, because right when I started, I decided to write a stocking "tutorial" in case any of my readers are inspired to do make one. If you're an experienced sewer, please hide your eyes from my silly instructions. If you're a novice sewer, please feel free to be wowed by my excellent sewing skillz.

To start out, I simply folded my fabric in half, right (patterned) sides together. I had a yard of fabric on hand and that was plenty to also make a lining for the stocking. I used the stocking I already had as a template, but you could certainly just cut one free hand. Place the stocking on the fabric, and cut around it.Do this twice; once for the outside, once for the lining. Since your fabric was folded in half, you'll end up with 4 cut outs of the stocking. Next measure the approximate length of the top of the stocking, double it, and add about two inches. Use this measurement to cut a length of fabric that is 2 1/4 inches wide and as long as you came up with through your higher math. In my case, mine was about 19 inches long (8.5 plus 8.5 plus 2). If you're interested in making a loop to hang the stocking with, cut another strip of fabric that is 3 inches wide and about 16 inches long.Now take these strips to your ironing board and iron them in half with the wrong (non-patterned) side facing in. Open them back up and fold the sides in to meet that center fold. Refer to picture below. Do this for both strips.
See what I mean? Now, look at your loop fabric. Chances are you'll probably need to cut a few inches off of the length. I think 16 inches ended up being too long, but I can't remember what I cut it down to. Fold it in half and see if you like how long it is. If not, cut off a bit. Don't worry how much, just eyeball it. For JUST the strip for the loop, fold down the end just a bit, and iron it. Clip the corners. Do this on both ends. For the hanging loop, fold the strip in half lengthwise and sew along the open edge to close it. Then fold the strip in half to form the loop, and sew the end. This is going to be a pretty thick bit of fabric to sew through, so make sure you have the correct needle on your machine. Your finished loop should look like this, only better, because my pictures are terrible:Now it's time to sew the stocking. This is so easy, and so fast. With the right sides together, sew a 1/4 inch seam all the way around the stocking, leaving the top open. Back-stitch at both ends. Do this for both the outer part and lining. So you have both sections done. Turn them both right side out and iron the seams to your liking. Then turn one back inside out, and shove it inside the other stocking. Mess with it until it's good enough. You should be seeing the patterned side on both the inside and the outside.

Now it's time to do the trim around the top. Take the trim piece and place it so that it's folded in half and encasing the raw edge of the top of the stocking. Pin it in place.You should have plenty of extra trim. Since you only want it to overlap a little bit, cut one end off diagonally and fold and iron the other end like we did for the loop fabric. Overlap the two ends nicely, and pin in place.Now sew along the entire trim, about 1/4 inch from the edge. If you feel so inclined, you can even use coordinating thread.
Next position the loop to your liking and sew it in place on the inside of the lining.
Lastly, take an awful picture because you just realized you're late to pick you daughter up from school. Fill the stocking with goodies and mail it off to your husband, praying that it gets there in time. But be smart enough to not mention what you actually put in the stocking, just in case he reads your blog.Now that my tutorial is posted, I'm not sure how much use it will actually be to anyone. I realize now I didn't take the right pictures...I took so many pointless ones and totally skipped some crucial steps. But I've always wanted to give writing a tutorial a try, and I have to admit it was fun to attempt to share my idea. I also want to say that looking at that final pictures makes me realize that looks nothing like a stocking but rather a misshapen boot or something. Luckily for me my recipient was a man, and the Army Man at that. There's no way he'll notice what it looks like. He likely won't even realize that I made it.

One Is One-derful

Several things have been said to me over the last few days on the subject of only children that I finally gave in to writing a post about it. I’ve thought about writing about this subject before and I’ve always backed away because even though I love sharing about the minutiae of my life, I am always reluctant to speak too freely about certain personal subjects. But this subject is very important to me, so I feel compelled to talk about it.

Growing up, I never questioned that I would be the mother to several children. I never really felt I had any special skills or gifts. What I was good at was mothering. I received compliments all the time from grownups (one of the best things a kid like me could have ever asked for!) about how caring I was, how I would be such a good mom when I grew up. I am the oldest of four. My youngest sibling is almost 14 years younger than me, so I got some definite hands-on experience when it comes to babies, diapers, temper tantrums, and being barfed on. I’m bossy, organized, neat, and a control-freak. Perfect mom material! The Army Man is the second of five boys. Large families run in the family, so to speak. I really did come to believe that my purpose here on earth was to raise several well-adjusted children, each of whom went on to be productive members of society.

And then I had Laura. This has nothing to do with her; it has everything to do with me.

I realized almost instantaneously that being a mother was harder than I could have ever predicted. I wanted to fall in humble worship at the feet of my mother, my grandmothers, and the Army Man’s mother. I knew, probably when Laura was just a few days old, that my desire for 3 or 4 kids (was I mad?) had fallen to just two. But still I knew that I HAD to have two children. You don’t just have one kid. It’s just not done. Those kids are spoiled, bratty, and unfit for society, right? And mothers who can only handle one child aren’t really mothers. And I wanted to be a real mother-as opposed to the kind of fake mothers that give birth to a child and raise that child, but never get full “mother” status since they have only one child.

I don’t want to go into all the details about why or when I finally started to think that not having any more children was a good idea. We certainly thought about having another (because it was the right thing to do), and tried for a while. Nothing came of it, and it became known between the Army Man and I that we were done. Our families were quietly supportive, although I always knew that another child was hoped for on our behalves by many loving people. The decision was a personal one between the Army Man and I, and it is one that has proven to be the best thing for our family. I suppose if anyone is to blame, it’s me, but I also feel that it is me who has suffered the most at the hands of this decision. I wrestled for a very long time with deep feelings of failure and guilt over not fulfilling what I believed to be my destiny. If I couldn’t do the one thing I thought I was here to do, then what am I here for? What good am I to the world? Why is having a child so much harder for me than other women? Are they truly better moms, better women than me? Sometimes I feel like I still don’t know the answers to those questions.

Having an only child is an interesting life. I feel like I am constantly expecting more of Laura, because I know that there are plenty of people who already have opinions about her because of her lack of siblings. When she had temper tantrums as a 2 year old, the day care workers told me it was because she didn’t have siblings. I'd say it was because she was 2, and has inherited my temper. And if she had had a sibling at that point, I’m sure the sibling would have been an infant and would not have been teaching Laura any of the things that siblings are magically supposed to teach you. We occasionally get questions from strangers and acquaintances. They all want to know when we’re having another baby. When I say that we’re not, the looks and comments are surprising and sometimes hurtful. Think of what you’re doing to Laura, they tell me. I want to know what exactly I’m doing to her, other than loving her and raising her the best I can. I’ve often been told that I HAVE to have another child. Why, because some stranger tells me to? That’s a great reason if I’ve ever heard one.

It saddens me that so many people feel so negatively towards only children. Do they not realize that those mean things they're saying are being said about my daughter, my sweet little girl? And sometimes within earshot of her? Why is it acceptable to repeat negative stereotypes about a certain class of people? When will comments about only children be considered just as rude and un-PC as comments about people’s race or religion? Would the mother of three find it okay if I started spouting off about how the youngest kid in a family is just a spoiled brat who has everything handed to them? I think not. So forgive me for my attitude when people start bashing only children-that's my daughter you're talking about, and I won't stand for it.

Even more interesting to me, which I think most people don't stop to ponder: it's not Laura who requested to be an only child. My family planning is not up to my 5 year old, so why should she be punished for it? If people want to tell me about what a horrible parent I am, and how I'm so cruel to my daughter, that's one thing. I'm an adult and I can take it. But it's not fair and not acceptable to tell me things that are wrong with Laura since she's an only child. It has nothing to do with her. And if she does grow up to be a spoiled brat who can't share, it will be because I raised her that way, not simply because she has no siblings. The most current research shows over and over again that most only children are very similar to the first-born child in families with multiple children. Speaking as a first-born child, I say that's just fine with me.

When strangers fawn over Laura, talking about how cute and sweet and well-mannered she is, the inevitable question always is-do I have other children? Once I answer no, some become appalled and demand that I MUST have another. And I wonder; does Laura suddenly seem less cute and less sweet and less well-mannered now that they know I don’t have 2 other kids at home?

Someone recently told me that Laura wouldn’t be able to be empathetic if she didn’t have siblings. You mean my daughter who cries when I hurt myself? My daughter who worries about her friends if they have a bad day at school? My sweet little girl who spent one entire day last week giving pep talks to the trouble-maker in her class? And the whole stereotype of only children not being able to share and play nicely with other children? That theory has been dashed to the ground over and over again by Laura. A recent playtime with some of her friends gave me this gem, straight from her mouth: “Why don’t we all share the doll house so everyone gets to play?” That stopped the squabbling of her guests (who are older than her, and siblings to boot!)

Having siblings is wonderful. I have some and they’re all lovely. Sometimes I’m so ridiculously sad that Laura doesn’t have that in her life, but siblings are no guarantee of happiness. Siblings are no guarantee of anything. Siblings are not the be all, end all, in a child’s life. I refuse to have another child simply to give Laura a sibling. I would only have another child if that is what the Army Man and I decided was right for us, the ones who would be raising and caring for that child.

And to reference the title of my post, there are so many wonderful things about having an only child. I don’t want to start listing them all here, because I might make people with multiple kids jealous! Suffice it to say, we are a happy family, and Laura is a happy and well-adjusted little girl. Isn’t that all any parent wants for their child?

(And of course I have to add the caveat that this isn’t to say that I might not have another baby someday. Who knows? I’m only 29 and thus far my life has been the exact opposite of how I planned it. But whether I end up the mother of one child, or ten, I will always say that only children are wonderful.)

Modern Women Of Sewing

Oh, how I wished closer to New York and could attend this Modern Women Of Sewing event. I suppose I am somewhat modern, and I do sew after all. Those three presenters? Well, they're awesome and hip and downright famous in the modern sewing world. And they'll be speaking, for free, at a library! Even though I can't attend, I'm pretty tickled to see that these busy women are participating in such a great event. I wonder how likely it is that they will come to North Carolina next.

Beautiful North Carolina

It's been almost 5 years that I've lived here in North Carolina. Falling in love with North Carolina isn't hard. It's beautiful. The Army Man and I often talk about how much we love it here. It's been a wonderful place to start our lives as a family. It feels like home. That's not to say that we don't miss California. Because of course we do. We miss our families, first and foremost. We want to live close to them and see them on every holiday and birthday. We want Laura to know them better than just through phone calls and the occasional visit. Sometimes I want that life so badly that it brings me to tears.

But one thing I've learned is that the quickest way to an unhappy life is to focus on the negatives. When I start complaining about how much I miss California and our families, it makes it a lot harder to love living in North Carolina. And that's not fair, because it's wonderful here. Nature in North Carolina is fantastic: the seasons change and we even get leaves falling to the ground, along with the occasional snow day. The "liberal Californian" in me can't help but chuckle when the marquee at the Shell station reminds me to pray daily. The Army Man and I have had the opportunity to buy a home, something that probably never would have happened back in the land of half-million dollar starter homes. And like California, we have it all-the beach and mountains. We're close to so many things and since we've lived here we've had the chance to visit Florida, South Carolina, Washington DC, Pennsylvania and New York. We've even talked about retiring in North Carolina. It's been a wonderful 5 years here, and I look forward to at least a few more, if the Army is willing.

The local lake just about two miles from our home.

My First Kidlife Crisis

kidlife crisis n (2009): a period of emotional turmoil that occurs when a parent realizes that his or her once tiny baby is no longer so tiny, and has reached a previously unimaginable age. The parent views this marching of time as unacceptable. Longing for the child's younger days, the parent may spend hours browsing old photographs, watching home movies, and sighing over babies.*

So, I've experienced my first kidlife crisis. It started back in September, when the preparations for Laura's birthday began. I really couldn't believe she was about to be five. Five is old. Five is a big kid, not a baby. Five is the age that other kids are, but not my little girl, no sir. She's a baby and will be staying that way. Not that I think she's an infant, or treat her as such, but when I see a lady out and about with a baby in an infant carrier, sometimes I find myself thinking, "Isn't that nice that we both have babies." Then I realize that my baby is actually off at pre-K and she weighs 35 pounds and just that morning had a discussion with me about our dog's uterus (note: oh yes, we really did have that conversation!) Not such a baby anymore, I suppose.

I imagine I'll have similar crises as she gets older. The Army Man and I always joke about what trouble she's going to be as a teenager, and I don't doubt it. But I truly can't even imagine what that will be like. No more than I could have imagined her as a 5 year old when she was brand new. It's simply unfathomable. I look at her and try to picture her going to elementary school, calling friends on the phone, driving, dating, going to college, getting married, having her own children. But all I see is a little baby, screaming and crying for one reason or another. Or a tiny little girl, laughing that deep, crazy belly laugh that only little kids can manage. It's like "Father Of The Bride", only a million times more so.

And so, as I sat there one night, experiencing my kidlife crisis, I looked through old pictures of Laura and I wrote this piece (or whatever you want to call it). I'm not sure how much sense it makes, but it felt wonderful to write, and I think I'll share it. Be warned: since this post is written by a Mommy about her child, it's going to be a long one.

I’m the brand new mother to a tiny little baby. She’s bald and thin, and she cries all the time. All she ever wants to do is nurse, and she never spits up. Her poop is disgusting and no diaper can hold it in. She must be carried horizontally to the changing table, like an offering, to avoid leakage. She never wants to sleep. Her bouncy seat is what I put her in at 3am to get her back to sleep, to keep her quiet so she doesn’t wake up her grandparents whom we’re living with. Her Daddy is back in Georgia finishing his Army training. He made it in time to see her be born, but had to leave when she was three days old. I’m a disappointed mother. This experience is nothing like what I had imagined: there’s no nursery that I lovingly decorated ahead of time. My husband wasn’t home to run out and buy me ice cream when I was pregnant. I don’t even live in my own house. I’m moving in just a few weeks, across the country, away from my family and friends. I’m sad and scared, but would never tell anyone. I’m a confused mother. I didn’t feel the instant love for my daughter that I thought I should. I don’t feel like a natural. I’m in pain, trying to recover from a childbirth experience that was more traumatic than I ever could have imagined. I feel completely unprepared to be responsible for this tiny, beautiful little girl. I feel young and old all at once. I never knew I could love someone so much.
I’m the exhausted mother of a tiny little girl. She’s one and never sleeps. Eating is a disaster. She’s always choking on her food, and she doesn’t want to use the sippy cup. She’s been walking for almost 3 months now. She hates shoes and always wants to be barefoot. She’s still bald, but she’s gorgeous. Pale white skin and beautiful blue eyes. A tiny little thing, occasionally mistaken for a doll. She is the center of attention everywhere she goes. She waves to strangers and people can’t seem to resist stopping to talk to her. She’s starting to talk, saying “dog” as her very first word. I never knew I could love someone so much.
I’m the exasperated mother of a tiny toddler. She’s two and she’s into everything. She loves to dance. She goes to daycare and is the favorite of her teacher. She gives up the ‘pa-pa’ (pacifier) in exchange for a doodle pad. She gets her tonsils and adenoids removed and can suddenly eat without choking. She’s insanely energetic and always trying to give me a heart attack with her antics-jumping off the couch, playing by the stairs, running away in stores. She starts to grow a little bigger. She learns to use the potty and never has a single nighttime accident. Daytime is an entirely different story. She favors her Daddy yet always calls for me at night. Her smile is so charming and silly, and her pout is just delightful. I never knew I could love someone so much.
I’m the desperate mother of a little minion of the devil. She’s three and has stopped napping. She’s still not sleeping through the night. She’s making me realize the terrible two’s are nothing. She misses her Daddy who’s gone for six months. She cries and screams and whines and makes me contemplate locking myself in my bedroom. She’s getting smarter every day. She knows her last name, she’s dressing herself. She loves princesses. She knows how to use the digital camera and always wants to take pictures. She plays pretend games with me. She tells me hysterical, clever things like, “We have a situation” which make up for all of the grief she gives me. I never knew I could love someone so much.I’m the hopeful mother of a not-so-tiny little girl. She’s four and she’s staring to behave. She’s growing like crazy. She talks all the time. I’m continually amazed by the things that she says. She wants to learn about the human body. She’s sensitive and caring. She loves going to preschool and is friends with all the boys. She loves to sing. She dresses herself and favors her pink tutu and blue boots. She has an imaginary friend named “Little Bug” who is constantly causing trouble. He has to be spanked frequently. She loves playing outside. I never knew I could love someone so much.
I’m the mother of the most beautiful, smartest, funniest five year old girl. She is dramatic. She is outgoing. She is sweet. Something about her personality is magnetic. Her teachers love her. The kids in her class always want to play with her. If we go to a store, the clerks want to give her things (candy seems to be the most popular offering). She prides herself on following the “rules” and loves to discuss other people who don’t. She is very concerned about safety. She’s bossy but not in a forceful way (most of the time). She’s stubborn and wants to get her way, yet continually surprises me with her generous nature. She hates to lose any game we play. She’s extremely sensitive and empathetic, and will cry if someone else is in pain. She hates shots but loves the doctor. Her scream is eardrum piercing. Suddenly she’s interested in babies and loves to hold their hands and help them walk around. I’m shocked that my rough and tumble girl holds their hands so gently and sweetly. She never stops talking. She loves to spell words and will approach me and say in one long drawn out breath, “How to you spell ‘I love you so much and you are my best friend and I want to play with you’?” and expect me to sit there and dictate the entire sentence to her. The excuse “That’s how God made me” is heard frequently from her. She loves drawing and does a better job at it than her mother. She tells me she loves me and it's the best feeling in the world.

I never could have imagined what having a child would be like, but it’s fantastic. Loving someone so much is easy when she’s Laura.

*A million kudos and thanks to my friend Angela for coming up with this oh-so-clever name. I think it's a stroke of genius. I do however, give myself credit for writing the definition.