Beautiful North Carolina

It's been almost 5 years that I've lived here in North Carolina. Falling in love with North Carolina isn't hard. It's beautiful. The Army Man and I often talk about how much we love it here. It's been a wonderful place to start our lives as a family. It feels like home. That's not to say that we don't miss California. Because of course we do. We miss our families, first and foremost. We want to live close to them and see them on every holiday and birthday. We want Laura to know them better than just through phone calls and the occasional visit. Sometimes I want that life so badly that it brings me to tears.

But one thing I've learned is that the quickest way to an unhappy life is to focus on the negatives. When I start complaining about how much I miss California and our families, it makes it a lot harder to love living in North Carolina. And that's not fair, because it's wonderful here. Nature in North Carolina is fantastic: the seasons change and we even get leaves falling to the ground, along with the occasional snow day. The "liberal Californian" in me can't help but chuckle when the marquee at the Shell station reminds me to pray daily. The Army Man and I have had the opportunity to buy a home, something that probably never would have happened back in the land of half-million dollar starter homes. And like California, we have it all-the beach and mountains. We're close to so many things and since we've lived here we've had the chance to visit Florida, South Carolina, Washington DC, Pennsylvania and New York. We've even talked about retiring in North Carolina. It's been a wonderful 5 years here, and I look forward to at least a few more, if the Army is willing.

The local lake just about two miles from our home.

Halloween 2009

You know what's a really bad idea? Taking your daughter to Joann's to just "look" at Halloween costume patterns. Because you're not leaving without a pattern and a promise, A PROMISE, to make your daughter a Snow White costume. That's what happened to me this summer. I've never made Laura a costume before, but luckily I was smart and started working on it a long time ago, took my time, and made it perfectly.

Okay, so obviously that is a lie. Yes, I bought the pattern and made the promise back in June, but I didn't start working on the costume until the 20th. Of October. It was really, really hard and I don't ever want to do that again. But somehow I managed it. The inside of the costume looks absolutely horrendous, but I really don't care. Laura seemed to really like it, and I thought she looked adorable. She makes a good Snow White. I really wish she could wear it again next year, but I don't think it will fit, and I get the feeling that I'll be making another promise this coming June.

Laura posing with our pumpkinsWith a better smile this timeMoxie didn't want to be left out, so she her picture taken while looking extra cuteWith Daddy at the local "Trunk-Or-Treat"Mommy and Laura getting excited about candy

Reenacting the hot dog photo from last year

We had a great time tonight and are now the proud owners of way too much candy. Also, for those who care, my hair is not black like the picture might have you believe.

My First Kidlife Crisis

kidlife crisis n (2009): a period of emotional turmoil that occurs when a parent realizes that his or her once tiny baby is no longer so tiny, and has reached a previously unimaginable age. The parent views this marching of time as unacceptable. Longing for the child's younger days, the parent may spend hours browsing old photographs, watching home movies, and sighing over babies.*

So, I've experienced my first kidlife crisis. It started back in September, when the preparations for Laura's birthday began. I really couldn't believe she was about to be five. Five is old. Five is a big kid, not a baby. Five is the age that other kids are, but not my little girl, no sir. She's a baby and will be staying that way. Not that I think she's an infant, or treat her as such, but when I see a lady out and about with a baby in an infant carrier, sometimes I find myself thinking, "Isn't that nice that we both have babies." Then I realize that my baby is actually off at pre-K and she weighs 35 pounds and just that morning had a discussion with me about our dog's uterus (note: oh yes, we really did have that conversation!) Not such a baby anymore, I suppose.

I imagine I'll have similar crises as she gets older. The Army Man and I always joke about what trouble she's going to be as a teenager, and I don't doubt it. But I truly can't even imagine what that will be like. No more than I could have imagined her as a 5 year old when she was brand new. It's simply unfathomable. I look at her and try to picture her going to elementary school, calling friends on the phone, driving, dating, going to college, getting married, having her own children. But all I see is a little baby, screaming and crying for one reason or another. Or a tiny little girl, laughing that deep, crazy belly laugh that only little kids can manage. It's like "Father Of The Bride", only a million times more so.

And so, as I sat there one night, experiencing my kidlife crisis, I looked through old pictures of Laura and I wrote this piece (or whatever you want to call it). I'm not sure how much sense it makes, but it felt wonderful to write, and I think I'll share it. Be warned: since this post is written by a Mommy about her child, it's going to be a long one.

I’m the brand new mother to a tiny little baby. She’s bald and thin, and she cries all the time. All she ever wants to do is nurse, and she never spits up. Her poop is disgusting and no diaper can hold it in. She must be carried horizontally to the changing table, like an offering, to avoid leakage. She never wants to sleep. Her bouncy seat is what I put her in at 3am to get her back to sleep, to keep her quiet so she doesn’t wake up her grandparents whom we’re living with. Her Daddy is back in Georgia finishing his Army training. He made it in time to see her be born, but had to leave when she was three days old. I’m a disappointed mother. This experience is nothing like what I had imagined: there’s no nursery that I lovingly decorated ahead of time. My husband wasn’t home to run out and buy me ice cream when I was pregnant. I don’t even live in my own house. I’m moving in just a few weeks, across the country, away from my family and friends. I’m sad and scared, but would never tell anyone. I’m a confused mother. I didn’t feel the instant love for my daughter that I thought I should. I don’t feel like a natural. I’m in pain, trying to recover from a childbirth experience that was more traumatic than I ever could have imagined. I feel completely unprepared to be responsible for this tiny, beautiful little girl. I feel young and old all at once. I never knew I could love someone so much.
I’m the exhausted mother of a tiny little girl. She’s one and never sleeps. Eating is a disaster. She’s always choking on her food, and she doesn’t want to use the sippy cup. She’s been walking for almost 3 months now. She hates shoes and always wants to be barefoot. She’s still bald, but she’s gorgeous. Pale white skin and beautiful blue eyes. A tiny little thing, occasionally mistaken for a doll. She is the center of attention everywhere she goes. She waves to strangers and people can’t seem to resist stopping to talk to her. She’s starting to talk, saying “dog” as her very first word. I never knew I could love someone so much.
I’m the exasperated mother of a tiny toddler. She’s two and she’s into everything. She loves to dance. She goes to daycare and is the favorite of her teacher. She gives up the ‘pa-pa’ (pacifier) in exchange for a doodle pad. She gets her tonsils and adenoids removed and can suddenly eat without choking. She’s insanely energetic and always trying to give me a heart attack with her antics-jumping off the couch, playing by the stairs, running away in stores. She starts to grow a little bigger. She learns to use the potty and never has a single nighttime accident. Daytime is an entirely different story. She favors her Daddy yet always calls for me at night. Her smile is so charming and silly, and her pout is just delightful. I never knew I could love someone so much.
I’m the desperate mother of a little minion of the devil. She’s three and has stopped napping. She’s still not sleeping through the night. She’s making me realize the terrible two’s are nothing. She misses her Daddy who’s gone for six months. She cries and screams and whines and makes me contemplate locking myself in my bedroom. She’s getting smarter every day. She knows her last name, she’s dressing herself. She loves princesses. She knows how to use the digital camera and always wants to take pictures. She plays pretend games with me. She tells me hysterical, clever things like, “We have a situation” which make up for all of the grief she gives me. I never knew I could love someone so much.I’m the hopeful mother of a not-so-tiny little girl. She’s four and she’s staring to behave. She’s growing like crazy. She talks all the time. I’m continually amazed by the things that she says. She wants to learn about the human body. She’s sensitive and caring. She loves going to preschool and is friends with all the boys. She loves to sing. She dresses herself and favors her pink tutu and blue boots. She has an imaginary friend named “Little Bug” who is constantly causing trouble. He has to be spanked frequently. She loves playing outside. I never knew I could love someone so much.
I’m the mother of the most beautiful, smartest, funniest five year old girl. She is dramatic. She is outgoing. She is sweet. Something about her personality is magnetic. Her teachers love her. The kids in her class always want to play with her. If we go to a store, the clerks want to give her things (candy seems to be the most popular offering). She prides herself on following the “rules” and loves to discuss other people who don’t. She is very concerned about safety. She’s bossy but not in a forceful way (most of the time). She’s stubborn and wants to get her way, yet continually surprises me with her generous nature. She hates to lose any game we play. She’s extremely sensitive and empathetic, and will cry if someone else is in pain. She hates shots but loves the doctor. Her scream is eardrum piercing. Suddenly she’s interested in babies and loves to hold their hands and help them walk around. I’m shocked that my rough and tumble girl holds their hands so gently and sweetly. She never stops talking. She loves to spell words and will approach me and say in one long drawn out breath, “How to you spell ‘I love you so much and you are my best friend and I want to play with you’?” and expect me to sit there and dictate the entire sentence to her. The excuse “That’s how God made me” is heard frequently from her. She loves drawing and does a better job at it than her mother. She tells me she loves me and it's the best feeling in the world.

I never could have imagined what having a child would be like, but it’s fantastic. Loving someone so much is easy when she’s Laura.

*A million kudos and thanks to my friend Angela for coming up with this oh-so-clever name. I think it's a stroke of genius. I do however, give myself credit for writing the definition.

October 8th

I'm really having a hard time believing that Laura is 5 today. When did this happen and where did my tiny baby go? I'd like to write more on the subject, but today is so busy, and tomorrow we're going out of town for a while, so hopefully I'll be able to post a belated birthday post when we get back.

October 8, 2004October 8, 2005October 8, 2006October 8, 2007October 8, 2008
October 8, 2009

A Beautiful Wedding

We spent the weekend in Charleston again, this time to celebrate the wedding of my cousin Shirley. The wedding was so much fun! Shirley looked breathtaking and the ceremony was so sweet and heartfelt, filled with plenty of laughter (my favorite type of ceremony!) It was held at a beautiful house by the water, and the food was delicious. I got to see some relatives that I haven't seen for quite a while, which was awesome. Laura got to play with all of her cousins, and the Army Man even went so far as to dance with me. Must have been something in the drinks….

As usual I did a terrible job of taking pictures. I never remembered to get a picture of the three of us together. In fact, I don’t have any good pictures of us! I can vouch for us though-Laura was adorable, the Army Man looked great and my dress was very cute (at least I thought so). Enjoy the few pictures I did take!

Laura and Daddy before the ceremonyLaura and Mommy before the ceremony

Shirley dancing with her father

Sam and Fisher not understanding what all the fuss is about

Eden and Estelle, proving that our family produces the most adorable kids

Laura and Campbell at the brunch after the wedding

Serging Ahead

Want to see something that’s intimidating to even a somewhat experienced seamstress?
That’s right, a serger. I’m terrified of it. Or correction, I was. Until I saved up my pennies, bought a relatively cheap one (don’t want to make my cheapo sewing machine from Sears jealous) and decided that there is absolutely no reason to be afraid of a machine. If even it does have two needles, four spools of thread, 2 knives to cut the fabric (and possibly your finger), 2 owner’s manuals and 2 instructional DVDs, and a host of other weird accessories.

A serger is a type of sewing machine, I suppose. It doesn’t sew just a straight stitch; you still need a traditional sewing machine for that. This is the machine that makes clothes look really professional. If you’re wearing a shirt right now-and I hope you are because I prefer my readers not be topless-then you can check out the hem of your shirt and see what I mean. All that stitching, that looks all complicated and fancy-it’s what’s keeping the fabric from unraveling when it’s washed. And now, that’s a look I can achieve on my dresses. It probably won’t be quite as nice as some manufactured clothes (I’ve heard some sergers have up to 10 different threads going at a time!!) but I made a test dress while using it, and I’m really pleased with the results.

Look at that stitching!

It also goes ridiculously fast, and so far it’s definitely cut down on my sewing time. Although having to go back and forth between my two machines is something I’m still getting used to, and I don’t quite have it all down to an exact science yet. I'm sure if I videotaped my sewing process and sped it up, it would be quite entertaining. Here's to hoping that soon I'll be churning out dresses like crazy!

The Revenge Of The Fly

This California girl is well-versed in the agony and frustration of ants. Those obnoxious little buggers that seem to find whatever food you leave out and descend upon it. Those little devils that have no issue breaking into your garage, your pantry, even your bedroom-just ask my brother Kurt about the time he went to put on his pajamas as a kid only to discover them COVERED with ants (we were puzzled as to why the pajamas appeared to be moving). They are everywhere. They are unstoppable. They are….nothing, NOTHING, compared to flies.

A simple line of ants, so simple to spray with some ant spray and kill. What I wouldn’t give for that pest problem! Here, not only do we have horrible fire ants outside, but the inside of our houses are constantly being overrun by flies. I’m starting to suspect there is a tiny little fly door in one of my windows (I imagine it like a tiny doggie door, only made out of netting that can easily been flown through). It is ridiculous how many flies I have to deal with on a daily basis! Days that involve outside playtime are the worst. I might as well stand at the door and just usher them in and get it over with:

"Please, come in! I can offer you some leftover crackers that Laura left in a bowl by the couch, and I’m sure there are plenty of crumbs on the carpet. Don’t forget to stop by Moxie’s bowl for a quick drink and browse the kitchen counter for tasty morsels that I may have overlooked! It’s also a delightful day for buzzing around my head as I cook, so be sure not to miss that opportunity."

Sometimes they appear out of nowhere, when the door hasn’t been opened for hours. They always seem to locate the nearest human and incessantly buzz them. When they’re invading, eating inside my house is like eating at outside at a picnic. You can’t leave anything edible out, because you know the fly is landing on it and doing a little dance just to spite you, just to show you the power it holds over you. Ants thinking of attacking your food? No big deal, just move the food to another spot. Flies bent on sampling your pot roast? Well, you better shovel it down because the flies will land on it, even as you eat it. The rest of the dinner, still hot in the pan on the stove? Transfer it straight to the fridge, food safety be damned! That’s the only way to keep it safe, unless one gets into the fridge (yes, that has happened to me).

It’s amazing how much your life can start to revolve around flies. It’s not uncommon for the Army Man and I to stand in the kitchen chatting while one of us holds the fly swatter. We've started complimenting each other on particularly gory or spectacular kills. The best is the mid-air swat. Yep, we've both managed to snatch a fly’s life during flight. It’s awesome. Laura’s method is to trap the fly between the window and the blinds, and smush. There is usually sound involved, followed by the victory shouts of my bloodthirsty daughter. I always discourage this, but I won’t deny having resorted to it myself. Moxie tries to help, chasing them and snapping at them. That form of entertainment is the one redeeming fly trait.

I’ve had flies rise from the dead and fly out of the trash can once I open it to deposit another of their deceased brethren. I’ve had a few fly relationships last days or more…a few days after a madly buzzing fly zips around the kitchen, I’ve found it limping along in my bedroom or laying pathetically on the stairs. I feel no sympathy as I kill it-only disgust wondering where it was all those days and if it was walking on me as I slept.

Today’s tally stands at nine killed, an undetermined number still at large. I can't wait for the winter.

Charleston Trip

It's not often that the Army Man informs me that we are taking a weekend trip anywhere, so when he does, I say "yes please!" without even worrying about where we're heading. He chose a great spot to go last weekend-Charleston, South Carolina. He went a few weeks back on some training and had a great time, and he wanted to go back again with the whole family (except Moxie. Sorry, dog). It was a short trip, just Friday-Sunday, and although I was momentarily afraid for our safety when I saw our hotel, it was a fantastic trip!

If you live in California, surely you know of the Roxford exit off of the 5? Well that should give you an idea of what the area our hotel was in was like. Charleston is a beautiful town, so we were quite shocked when our directions directed us to a rather shabby looking hotel in an even shabbier part of town. Inside the hotel and was nice and clean, and with the Army Man there to protect the family, I knew we would be fine. But I learned my lesson about booking hotels online!

Friday we walked around in the beautiful downtown area and ate dinner right by the water. Saturday we hit up the aquarium and the beach. The aquarium was nice but small, and the four penguins that call the aquarium home were the saddest looking bunch I've ever seen. They made me much too sad to enjoy them, even though Laura kept reminding me how much I like penguins (in case I forgot). Right next to the aquarium was a small Ft. Sumter museum with the tattered remains of the giant American flag that once lived at Ft. Sumter. A replica hung on the wall-it was gigantic!

After that, we went to the beach which was so much fun. It was ridiculously crowded, but the water was very warm and the weather was great. We all went pretty far into the water and I was loving it until a wave knocked me over and swept away my sunglasses. The Army Man and I searched in vain for them-the most perfect sunglasses I've ever owned. Later, I rested on the sand while Laura and the Army Man went far, far into the water to see just how tense Mommy could get. At one point they were out farther than anyone else! But of course Laura loved it and the Army Man was pleased that his plan to torture me worked. That evening we visited all too briefly with my cousin Shirley and her daughter Eden. Eden just turned 2 and is so stinkin' cute! Laura was too glued to the TV to pay much attention to Eden, and it was weird for me seeing that Laura really is a big kid now-she looked so much older and bigger than Eden.

Sunday was a lazy day for us and we never did make it to Ft. Sumter. I guess we'll have to save that for the next trip! Now, what you've all been waiting for: the pictures. I have a ton of Laura from the beach, and couldn't decide which ones were the best, so I posted a lot. Enjoy!

Laura and Daddy, enjoying dinner by the water Me at dinner, getting the obligatory photo take to prove I was thereThe USS YorktownThe source of my near panic attackLooking at Ft. SumterLaura being cute

The Gospel Truth

According to Laura, after she stumbled over the words in a song:

I am not a professional singer because I'm not that good, but I am a professional draw-er.

PS. We are currently delighting in all that Charleston, SC has to offer our family. Since we love history, shopping, the beach, and cool architecture, it turns out it has quite a bit to offer. I'll post pictures soon after we return home, provided I don't die of a panic attack when we have to drive over yet another of the highest and longest bridges I have ever seen. My water and heights phobias have never been better, thanks for asking!

You See What I'm Dealing With

Poor Laura, dealt a boring mother who doesn't ever seem to want to play, and when she does play, doesn't do it right. Laura is even forced, on occasion, to entertain herself or clean her own room. To make up for these injustices, is Laura given a pool? A pony? A cell phone? Even a TV in her room? No. None of these requests have yet to be granted.

When Laura's mother has the audacity to ask for a few quiet minutes to get ready to go out to dinner, how does Laura respond? With complaints, harassment of her mother, and the sporadic karate chop, naturally. When her mother, who can't take it a moment longer, tells her to go find something to do or else be forced to clean the kitchen floor, how does Laura respond?

"That sounds like fun!"

Vogue!

Poor Laura. She's been forced to be my model these last few months as I've attempted to take cute pictures of my creations to put on my Etsy site. It's really been tough on her-you know how much she hates the spotlight. And how much she detests getting her picture taken. Oh wait, that's me I'm thinking about! In reality, Laura has absolutely loved getting to model my clothes for me, except for the times I interrupt her during an important task (usually coloring). I usually get a few cute pictures that I can't post on Etsy but seem too good to waste, so I thought I'd post a few of them here. The first two are of my latest shirts.

All of these poses are her own doing, naturally.

I love her faux surprise in this one.Oh so sweet. Yeah right.

I'm sure I'll be back soon with more, seeing as I don't think Laura will EVER tire of getting her picture taken.

Laura's Sewing Creation

Today I was working on a new appliqued shirt, and Laura wanted to help. When she was younger, she was easily bought off with a piece of fabric and a needle; she would "sew" in that manner for a good 30 minutes. Recently we progressed to actual thread in the needle, and she would just pull it in and out of the fabric. Today however, she would not be placated with any of those options. She wanted to sew something onto fabric, preferably the shirt I was working on. I was able to convince her to sew with a piece of fabric of her own, so I cut out a little flower from one of my scraps, gave her the threaded needle, and told her to have fun.

She came to me a few times needing me to re-thread the needle (can't wait for her to be able to do that on her own!) but other than that I didn't hear anything from her for about 20 minutes. When she came back, this is what she had created.

(Click picture to enlarge)

I have to admit, I was pretty amazed. I didn't think it would occur to her how to sew the flower on. She did a great job, and even wrote everyone's name (in marker) on the fabric. I promised her I would share her handiwork on my blog, and I'm proud to do so. Pretty good for a 4 year old, right?

Our Empty Nest

I've been meaning to write a post about this forever, but naturally life got in the way and I'm just now going through all of our pictures that tell the story. This summer our front porch played a big part in the start of a new family, and we were honored to get watch it all unfold in front of our eyes.

One day in June, a robin showed up on my front porch and made a HUGE mess while making the poorest excuse for a nest I have ever seen. It was badly constructed-basically a few pieces of long grass laid in a line, and was an embarrassment to robins everywhere. I was in a bad mood that day and the messy porch made me madder. I pulled down all the twigs she had gathered and made short work of her "nest". I know, I know. It was a horrible thing to do. Well, this robin was a girl after my own heart, because not only was she not dissuaded from building her nest, but she decided to prove herself to me and built the cutest little nest I have ever seen. It was quite incredible watching her bring all of her materials and stomp on them to make them into a nest. When she was finished, it was as if she had bought it in a store, it looked so perfect.

Laura was thrilled with this development, and I couldn't very well go and remove such a nice nest, so we figured we were about to watch nature at work. And we were. From what we (and by we, I mean the Army Man who was the only one brave enough to climb onto the porch railings to look) could see, she laid 4 eggs. One day in July, the Army Man called me on my cell phone to give me the exciting news...the babies were here! Three of the eggs hatched and two babies lived. It was simply incredible watching the bird's development first-hand. Our kitchen window looks out onto the porch, and basically any time we went into the kitchen, we would look out onto the porch to see what the babies were up to. They were noisy and always wanting to eat. The problem was that the second the mom saw us through the window, she would fly off. We all tried to be cautious, but we were constantly scaring her off.
As they got bigger, they got bolder. They started checking things out, to Laura's great delight.One of them in particular was always giving me a heart attack, acting like he was going to fall out of the nest, or attempt flying on his own.
Then one day it happened. Almost 7 weeks after the nest was built, I just so happened to be pulling into the driveway after dropping Laura off at day camp when I saw a huge commotion. There were several large robins flying underneath the porch ceiling, and at first I thought they were attacking the babies. I jumped out of the car and ran over, just in time to see something tiny fall from the nest into the flowers below. The babies were leaving home! I shouted for the Army Man who happened to be home, and he ran outside. Our neighbor probably thought we were crazy-I'm pretty sure I was jumping up and down-but I didn't care. I couldn't quite tell if they were pushed out of the nest, or if they left willingly, but they both made it safely into the cushion of my zinnias below.

They flew off almost instantly, and one of them flew to our neighbor's yard, so the Army Man was able to get a picture of the baby before he flew off forever.
Laura took it really hard that they were gone, and that they had had the nerve to fly away when she wasn't there. We all (the Army Man included!) felt sad that the nest was suddenly empty, and that the babies weren't there for us to watch and discuss. It's been over a month and today I caught myself glancing up to the nest to see what the babies were up to. The nest is still there, empty. We decided to leave it in case the mother wants to use it again next year. I hope she will.

Second 1st Day Of School

Today was Laura's first day of pre-Kindergarten. She had a first day of pre-Kindergarten back in July, at a different (year round) school, but it became apparent rather quickly that the original school was not the right place for her. I feel lucky that she had gotten in to both places, and that both places were free due to state funding. And while I'm all for her getting to learn through play, I do feel a small amount of letter writing and number work is perfectly acceptable for an almost 5 year old. At the first school, they played outside and watched movies. Laura complained that they didn't even do any art, much less "spelling" which is one of her favorite things to do right now. I won't go in to all the details, but suffice it to say, I withdrew Laura from that school a few weeks ago, and we're trying it again at this new school.

So today still had the excitement (and rushing around) that happens on the first day of school, although I could tell Laura wasn't nervous at all. She truly amazes me with how outgoing and confident she is. I hope those are traits that she will always keep, as they seemed to have served her well so far. Plus it makes it really easy on Mommy that she was excited to get to school and sat down at the table and started playing right away. I had to force her to give me a kiss as I was leaving, since she was in the process of checking out the class pet-a guinea pig named Blackie. When I picked her up, she told me that she had been having so much fun that she forgot about going home. So far, she loves her class and her teachers, and they did art on the very first day.

Just Another Day In My Life

Today has been an odd day. A lady at the vet accused me of giving her dog a "weird" look (which I probably did, because it was one of the ugliest dogs I've ever seen) and I was menaced by teenagers driving a golf cart while on my way home from errands. Loose dogs once again chased me on my run, and I didn't even have Moxie with me. The person in front of me in line at the ATM took so long (canceling transaction after transaction) and started yelling at the ATM. Laura freaked out (I mean FREAKED OUT) over the fact that I have a bathroom "stuck" to my bedroom and she doesn't. Later she gave birth to a puppy that died (and then came back to life).

Sometimes my life is just plain weird.